It does not require that you figure everything out, or have the answers to every question in order to heal your past.
You can set about letting go, and starting over without resolution from another party.
Someone told me once,
"If you came home to your house and it was broken into, you would call the police, sure...You would wonder what happened.
But you wouldnt go running down the street or all over the city looking for the culprit, or seeking resolution. It happened. What you do is start putting things back together, because you still have to live in that house. "
that house is YOU. You have to live there, inside of you.
And sifting through the broken pieces, looking at things, you can decide if this piece is worth keeping, if you can salvage or learn something from it, whether this piece is just old and you dont use it anymore, or dont want to have to.
Its hard work, and it can be painful, but really, you are so young, and you are way ahead of the game, DUQ.
Some people start this healing work after many more years of abuse and pain, and have much more to regret.
You are doing good work, that will create a clearer and happier path for you in life.
Its good work, and you are brave for doing it now, and not just moving onto the next unhealthy mess.
Congratulations on getting out of that mess