Originally Posted by
Cyranoak 
...and one of the things it teaches is you didnt' cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.
Stop trying to save him. Period. Especially from the consequences of his actions. It is the single worst thing you could possible do, and if he's going to find recovery at all you are making it take longer by doing so.
That's exactly what this post is about. Somebody not being saved from the consequences of their actions. WTBH is demonstrating this in real life.
You know this. Now stop "saving." It's not saving at all. It's digging the hole deeper. Stop digging.
Take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
P.s. If you come to a forum you are going to get advice and opinions. It's part of the deal. I want you to stay here, but you need to know if you do you are going to get advice and opinions. It's part of the deal.
Thanks Cyranoak, I think I should have clarified...
Don't get me wrong, I understand by posting here I will get advice and opinions, that's one of the biggest reasons as to why I started posting here and will continue to post here. I know the swallowing the truth is hard at the best of times... but I am SR.com because I not only want to read people's experiences, but I want (and NEED) the opinion of people who have been there or are experiencing it right now.
It is more the people that don't bother to do ANY research about the disease, that don't understand what is is truly like to be in my position but continue to rattle off advice (a lot, if not all, of the people I am close to have no experience dealing with an alcoholic, or the kind of relationship I am in with my partner).
Again, I understand it is coming from a place of concern, but getting told "you aren't doing enough... you are doing too much... his parents aren't doing enough, you should get them to help him more.. you should help him more... etc, etc.." every day is just making me frustrated.
Just one more thing (sorry, wanttobehealthy, I don't mean to ring-in on your thread), I do understand that this thread is about about
not saving... which is what I am appreciating and admiring wanttobehealthy for, however if I am going to help myself, I have to start with being honest about how I am feeling and what I am doing, even if it is the wrong thing (which I know is, but old habits diehard... I'm definitely a work in progress)... but I do want to get to doing the right thing.