Originally Posted by
confusedandsad 
its just frustrating me i suppose that while he's trying to get better he is unable to help me get better too
Perhaps this is an indication that you need to re-examine the structure of your relationship with him. I had to do similar re-assessment with my XAH because our relationship started out as mutual codependence; XAH reinforced that in fact, telling me that I could depend on him for anything. Eventually though, it became clear that his priority was himself and that I had to learn to fend for myself. I think the most enlightening moment for me was when I realized that the only person who would help me is me, because XAH would never be up to the task, whether he was drinking or sober.