Originally Posted by
LaTeeDa 
As an ACOA, I agree about the lying. I don't do it. My integrity is far too important to me.
But what I really want to say to you is this. I would give my right arm if my codependent mother would even consider that maybe there was something messed up about my childhood. If she would once even admit that she didn't know it all. If she could listen to me and hear my pain without denying it or blaming it on someone else. Of all things, that would be the greatest gift she could ever give. I believe your daughter sees you might be ready to lift the veil of denial that all alcoholic households live under. It seems to me she is hopeful that you have "seen the light" and want to join her in healing and recovery. I am hopeful for that, too. Especially since it looks like my mom will never get there.
L
I am right there with you, LaTeeDa.
I remember talking to people when I was in high school about how the stereotype was that parents desperately wanted their teenagers to talk to them and tell them what was going on in their lives... And adding that I was dying to tell my parents what was really going on but they weren't interested and didn't want to hear it.
But according to her, everything is somebody else's fault, and nothing I remember actually happened.
BobbyJ,
You are giving your daughter a wonderful gift. Two open ears and a closed mouth.
Validation and acceptance.
Love.
What she has to say may be very difficult for you to hear...
That said, it will help the healing begin/continue, and draw the two of you even closer together.
Your daughter is so lucky.