Ya, the truth is that we fundamentally disagree on his drinking. I think he has a drinking problem. He does not. Its like one partner wanting a child that the other doesn't. There is no way to compromise. This whole time, he's been trying to figure out a way that we can have the relationship and he can have his drinking, and ive been trying to find a way that we can have the relationship and not have the drinking. We both want the relationship, but we both want our individual happiness which in this case, is incompatible. There's really no need to continue the relationship. And yes, I would love to see him get into recovery, and if he did and worked it hard for a while, I would consider another chance at a relationship. But as long as he is in denial, I am wasting my time trying to convince, and I am getting emotionally UNhealthier the longer I wait to end it. So- it just is what it is. I need time to myself to work on my recovery and I'm going to take that time for myself. Hey- I feel a lot better saying that now that im kinda reaffirming that I'm doing it for me... but ya, its still not easy letting go of someone I care so much about.
This SO expressed it for me!
I think mine has a drinking problem...and a lying problem...and a depression problem.
But he doesn't think so for any of that.
That's my problem if I want him to.
He gets to believe what he wants.
We can do this, CN. We can get what anvil said!
yeah, but we didn't sign up for a cat box cleaner, we signed up for a full mature participant in a relationship. a living breathing space between two people, where growth is a natural outcome, where joy is created, where respect is given, mirrored and reflected back. where security, honesty and trust are intrinsic. where the other is as valued as the self...a union, not a cage match.