Concerned Nurse- I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I'm sure it must be overwhelming and a bit scary. It sounds as if you are hitting your rock bottom and I hope you will find some peace soon and that your ABF realizes what is happening and takes control of his actions.
Oh MissC, I hear your pain. We took an A friend in and he was hugely helpful around the house; he cooked, cleaned, painted the house, did laundry, baked cookies for our son, all to pay his rent because he didn't have any money and couldn't get a job. It was wonderful BUT his drinking and antics took away all the good things, and then some. It was scary to come home sometimes and I never knew what we'd be walking in to. I took a Marriage class in college (for Psyc) and the professor explainded to us that One bad/negative thing takes away 7 good things. Well, when you live with an alcoholic if feels like it's magnified x 3. I hear your pain and I felt the same way.