My exabf, when I look back at it, was all about ME making him feel "special."
He said before that he felt "special" that someone who was as mature and put-together (well on the outside maybe) as me, would be interested in someone like him (he is a lot younger than me.)
He has such low self-esteem, he needed me to validate him, I suppose. I was thinking the other day that when he was with me, he ran with the big dogs. My friends are mostly my age..own their own homes, have good jobs, aren't substance abusers...his "friends" (I use the term loosely cuz none of them would even pee on him if his head were on fire-they're all selfish jerks) are all very immature. Emotionally stunted alcoholics and addicts. Now that we're broken up, he's back playing at the children's table.
Originally Posted by
LovetoLaugh 
Wow, Thanks for saying out loud what I've been thinking to myself!!!Some of the details are different but the overall theme is the same. This is what our relationship turned into midway thru. I try to figure out if I was even in a relationship or was I just convenient. It makes me question the beginning when he was the pursuor and wonder if that was real of just a set-up for down the road. I invested so much time and money in him and his problems and got very little in return. I once told him that I felt like all I was was "his safe place to land". He said why would you say something like that its so self-deprecating but in all honesty its how I always felt!! I think the hardest part of coming to terms in these relationships is trying to seperate the person from the disease. If there was no alcohol or drug involvement I think I would have been clearer on whether I was loved or used!
Thats the hardest part for me! In a normal relationship you can clearly see people and their intentions. When your emeshed in so much dysfunction you question everything. I really feel for you, I wish I could give you a big hug!!!!