I am laughing and nodding my head here - a lot of what everyone wrote are my triggers too. The gaslighting - my sister does this constantly. I consider it lying. But I am beginning to think she may very well believe these delusions of hers that keep her a perpetual victim of the big, mean world.
My mouthy teenager - the 14 yr old - she and I had some words last night about being disrespectful and again, I had to remind her of who I actually am in her life, and it isn't a peer...
There are two women in my office who can't stand each other, and I have become that neutral 3rd party they come and bitch to about the other. How did I get in the middle of that? Now they both kind of trigger me a little...
My SIL - the RAH's sister - had triggered me a lot early in our marriage. She is passive-aggressive and competitive and territorial and its awkward to be around her. The shame is, like my own sister, I don't think this woman is really consciously aware of her behavior. I think her emotions drive her, versus being rational and thoughtful of her emotions, if that makes sense. As I work through the 12 steps, I am learning to be more aware of my emotions and my own triggers and how annoying I must have been toward the end of living with an active A to be out of control and triggered by everything! Now, I am calmer and more aware and far less apt to react.
But I still get triggered - I just make a conscious choice to deal with it differently. I guess that's all part of recovery - learning how much control we actually have...over ourselves!