Don't feel bad about snooping. You have to protect your child. Good advice here to detach and make decisions for you and your child only. Document things. Try not to deal or talk with her when you suspect she has been drinking. Try not to react. Videotape . You could do a trial seperation. My therapist who saw both me and AH said he needed to do 90 meetings in 90 days or I should seperate. He didn't do it. So I did. The choice/ball was in his court. He wasn't a responsible parent. He didn't deserve to be a parent. Is her family on board for an intervention? Now 4 yrs. post divorce I am good.