You know, I wanted to add....
The whole choking incident happened 6 hours away from the children. And we NEVER once fought, raised voices, or even had heated discussions in front of the children. And because of that... my AH was CONVINCED that we could have our disagreements and the kids wouldn't have a clue that it was going on.
I adamantly disagreed. I am convinced, and will remain so, that kids pick up more on the unspoken - the body language, the energy, etc - than they do the spoken. I remember learning that when the kids were babies... when I was stressed out, there wasn't a damn thing I could do to get them to settle. I had to just lay them in their crib, go outside and get myself pulled back together. Once I was relaxed... like magic... they settled right into me.
anyways... just my 2 cents.