Shell, Been there myself dude, almost identical situation.
When it was completely unmanageble for me I took the painful decision to move out. I had a ton of reservations but I knew it was the right choice for me because of the feeling of lightness and liberation just the idea gave to me, versus the feeling of heavy misery at the thought of staying. Go on your feelings.
The effect of this on mywife who previous hadn't really suffered any external consequences (even after two residential treatments) it was like a two-by-four around the back of the head the realisation that she could, and probably would, lose her family. That was the wake up call.
It's not about the threat, that is the indirect effect of us finding our peace. Now we see her every day and its mostly harmonious.
Couldn't go back living with her just yet, not until some change has been achieved over time!
Stay strong brother...