When I found empty bottles a week or two ago in an antique trunk and a handmade quilt from my grandmother ruined bc of the spills from those bottles that was my last straw. So, while it sucked to find once again that my suspicions were right, it was liberating bc I took it as "permission" to do what I'd not yet, deep down inside, been willing to do.
On the outside, to AH nothing changed. I didn't confront him or flip out. I did tell him calmly I was filing for divorce and that was that. And I told him it was BC I was not willing to accept life together as it was and that that was not his fault.
If I hadn't found my trunk and quilt ruined I might still have that glimmer of hope that he'd change and still be mentally stuck waiting for that to happen. I can deal with being around him when I have to be now bc I don't expect a thing from him and am kind of eager in fact to start my own life.
Oddly I feel less angry now that I have decided it's over than I did when I still held out hope it might last...
So, as much as the discovery of your W's lies sucks, think of it as a gift in a way? I know that sounds nuts probably. That's kind of how I am viewing my final "discovery". If I'd found the bottles anywhere but that trunk and if my quilt hadn't been ruined I might have continued to think a teeny bit that I could keep waiting. But my grandparents who gave me that trunk (it was my great grandparents') were like parents to me. They were the safe haven as a kid and protected my siblings and I when they could. My grandmother made that quilt for me right before she lost her eyesight bc of glaucoma and not long before she died.
I might be reading more into this than I should but I think there's a reason far greater than me that I found what I did, when I did and where I did.
And maybe the same is true for you?
Hang in there...