Shell crusher,
My kids are d5 and s3.... There is so much going on with them. Some of it is age related (separation anxiety/abandonment is very normal from 2-3), some of it is due to AH and me. I try no to read too much into their temper tantrums... But I am also very acutely aware that when I get spun out, they see it and are learning it. That has been a huge motivator for me to work extra hard on my program. When I am calm and detach from the insanity, I'm a much better mom... And am much better equipped to handle them and teach them how to process their emotions in a healthier fashion.
I do agree with previous posters... My kids are good alone for me, they can also be good alone for my husband... The minute both of us are in the room.... GAME ON. It's bizarre, and I don't know if it's the tension between us or them just being kids. I do remember having the same issue about a year or so ago before the drinking/tension ramped up so while some of it now is the tension... Some of it is them just being kids.
And, the whining and wanting to be held... Some of that is because she is mommy. My kids do the same thing to me... It drives me insane, and we are working on curbing that (their whining, and my insanity!!!).
Honestly, this post is exactly why I feel so strongly about divorcing and getting away from my AH. It's hard enough to raise kids.... throw active drinking in the mix and its just a baffling mess.
Focus on you, and being the best dad you can be... Thats what I'm doing here for the past 2.5 months and I have noticed a big improvement in the kids temperament.
Sending thoughts and prayers your way!
Shannon