Yep been right there too. My AH also sneaks and then lies about it. Drives me crazy. After advise from my T and some Alanon meetings I now don't look and just assume I am right. Why because every time I thought I was right, I was. Since we already know they are sneaking do we need the actual proof? Just irritates us, does nothing to the A because they will do what they want when they want, period. Sucks we have no influence over it. At this point I am trying to focus on me and only address his behavior, not the actual drinking, since I can not control that at all.
Here is my night.... after dinner I could smell it...walked away, went and did something away from him. I come back into the house and hear our 10 year old D crying loudly at her dad. I called her down to figure out what is up. Something was wrong with the shower and she asked him if it would be fixed by tomorrow. He got mad at her ,yelled and started his oh so fun quacking. Really bent out of shape over a clogged shower head and a simple question, really?! and he continued quacking...trying to make me see his point that he did nothing but ask her to take a shower in the other room. Yeah every 10 year old girl I know gets super upset at that....NOT , I looked at him told him I am not going to argue with you. They get so irrational. You would think when your 10 year old calls you a liar it would get your attention. Alcohol is toxic and tonight I got to see it AGAIN. SO glad he went to an AA meeting on monday... I can see it really helped.
When the time is right to leave you will know it. Don't beat yourself up about how you handled things tonight. Learn from it so next time you will be stronger.