Shellcrusher

I'm very angry right now. I've been suspecting an increase of drinking on the sly. I've mentioned before that my AW is not an in your face drinker. She sneaks it and hides it. In social events, she'll drink and put on a good show of it being normal. I had a feeling when I walked in the door that she had been drinking. I accused her. She denied. I dropped it. Sometimes it's very hard to tell but I always know and in hindsight discussions, she always admits to it. Never when she is. Being duped, I thought she was stressed out...
On nights like this, I practice single parent skills. I make diner, I clean, etc. I had guitar lessons tonight. It was her night to put the boy to bed. I returned an hour later. He was laying in our bed. TV on. Wife passed out. He was up watching TV. It took a bit to wake her up. All kinds of details are messed up and she was slurring. I always read to my son at night before bed and I'm good at getting him to sleep. He's hitting terrible 2s and is kinda difficult sometimes. Anyway, I read him his favorite 4 books. That's our routine. The AW told me she only read 2 books because reading 4 books is ridiculous. Way to go! Reading to your son is ridiculous? Wow! I shook my head and walked away and put the boy down. He's sleeping now. She's out like a light as well. Go figure.
So before I came to my office to tell you guys this, I checked the fridge. Last weekend her friend and her picked up a bottle of wine. I didn't say anything. Typical habit I mentally checked the level. Tonight is was slightly off. I looked closer. I opened. I sniffed. I drank. No wine. It was water. So she's back to her old tricks again and once again, I was not wrong in my suspicions.
I needed to get this down and hear from you guys. I'm so upset. I told her that she needs to find sobriety or I will file divorce. I have an attorney. I have the money. I don't have all the paperwork. We haven't lived in this new house for 2 years yet. There's a ton of excuses as to why I don't run to the lawyer tomorrow and file. I know what I said to her but I don't like the timing. It's not working the way I want it to. I wanted to keep things tight, work my plan, get my act together and wait for the right moments. Now, since I'm not committed to file tomorrow, I feel like I've quacked to her. She knows I'm not filing yet. Perhaps all those times I've thought she was drinking, she thought she was sly enough and even if I did know, I didn't file so she must be able to keep drinking because I'm not really going to do it.

For those that know me enough, I accept the fact that you may have some stern words or harsh feedback for me. I feel like my back is broken but the damn timing is not good.

I hated playing snoopdog tonight. It's not part of how I want to deal with her. She's going to drink anyway.