It's Okay Not To Be A Clone....
For me I have been working alot
on 3 words...Love..Trust..Respect
Do I Love him for what he is today or what he was years ago?
Trust, Can I ever learn to trust him, do I want too?
Respect, Its all gone, will it come back, do I want it back?
Does it mean, that I dont love him, if I let him go?
Does it mean, I am learning to trust myself of what is right or wrong?
Why, What, and How (In future & past): applied to LOVE,TRUST,RESPECT,
has changed the way I view those 3 words. Not just about my AH, but about me and my life.
At times, I just want to close my eyes and say.."Yes I trust, love & respect him"
Sometimes it feels that it would be alot easier to say that, than actually
do all of this recovery work on myself...
I step back, take a breath, and realize...That's not me...
I think Alanon is the most wonderful tool I can have to fix & find me..
I also believe I have my own personality that God gave me.
Im not a clone of anyone.
I believe my personality, wants & wishes,,could not do or put up with alot of things that others do in their lives or marriages, especially with an alcoholic..
I read other stories on here and hear them in my Alanon class
.. and I think "Oh, Why cant I think that way or
how come I cant be happy like everyone else in a recovery/recovering marriage?"
Understanding myself, and understanding reality.
Reality that Im not a clone. God is my creator. He loves
all of my quirks and understands me and loves me for who I am today.
Learning to understand myself and letting go, that its okay, if Im not like the others here on this forum or in life.
I am me... 
:ghug3