Another 24 hours. :)
I did it! Pretty much.
It's so depressing to think I was such a problem drinker that not drinking actually feels like being on drugs. I would say I'm 10 days sober. I made it to the show, and I did have one beer. With my tolerance it was like a fuzzy water, and wasn't worth it. Being sober in a situation where I am usually trashed was surreal. Everything looked so much brighter. We actually stayed for a long time afterward. I was conscious and smiling and actually enjoyed myself. Even though I was in a situation where everyone was drinking, I noticed how few people really were "drinking". I learned a lot about people that night. Before I was a drinker I used to think that everyone was having so much more fun than I was. It was like they were in on some joke that I didn't quite get. I realized that night that everyone is insecure. Everyone feels out of sorts, somewhere, sometimes.
This might sound really stupid, but in a way I feel like if I hadn't had a problem with drinking I would still feel that I was missing something.
I'm learning control. I'm learning to be strong and take care of myself. I'm learning that sometimes at night you have to entertain yourself instead of drinking until you pass out. I'm learning that just because I'm not drinking, all of my problems don't magically go away. I still have financial matters to fret over. I didn't magically become a size 2 again when I gave up my bottle or two of wine a night. My dog still has a brain tumor. I will always have that in the back of my head that I've spent the last 4 years in a haze most of the time and I probably will never be able to drink socially. But that's okay. I don't really want to.
I hope you guys all had magical weekends and wonderful beginnings to the week. I went to a meeting and I loved how they say "it's 24 hours at a time". We can do this!