pupnut5

Hi XXXXXXXXXX,

When I moved away from my AP I tried no contact too. It was harder than quiting smoking or dieting. Instead I tried contact with conditions. Those conditions werent for him but for me. Put simply, I only contacted him or replied to his contact when I felt strong enough to respond in a healthy way. I received many texts or messages that angered me & it was those times that I chose no contact. This method was my choice and may not work for you at all. But its an option.

I remember those "Im lonely" conversations too. I simply explained that his loneiness was a result of his drinking (and choice to not seek help). I repeated that whenever that comment was said and changed the subject. In hindsight it seems a little harsh but it worked & it was all I had to offer him.

You wrote " I am also very angry at where his drinking has taken us"
I truly understand that. My anger was probably the hardest hurdle to jump. But as soon as I realised that (despite his nasty actions) that my anger was my own, I felt it & chose to let it go. I felt I had enough to deal with without subjecting myself to anger as well. I kept thinking that if I died tomorrow, would I regret wasting my last precious day filled with anger left by the actions of another.

Hope that helps.