The phrase that kept coming to mind when reading this entire post is "Identify, Don't Compare." IMO WTBH, it appears as if you are interpreting people's posts and ES&H as "comparing" their story to yours, and you're thinking... you're not me, you don't know me, how could you possibly know how I feel? That is true, nobody is in your exact situation, nobody knows exactly how you feel and what is in your mind right now, and further, nobody should tell you an exact course of action. But contrary to "comparing," it appears to me, IMO, that the people posting here and offering their ES&H can "identify" with your feelings. Though they have not been in your EXACT situation or lived YOUR story, they have felt the feelings that you are describing and they are attempting to offer support. Again, just my opinion. But once we start "identifying" how our feelings are similar to other's feelings, rather than "comparing" how our stories are different, can we begin to accept ES&H and not feel it as an attack.