Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
Danae- What did you do to get the court to believe you? To listen? I feel like no one believes me. To the outside world me H is a saint, fun, great dad etc... Even though he got arrested he has his family and colleagues (his boss called me and reamed me out the day after he was arrested for putting H's job at risk by calling the police) convinced that it is bc I am mentally ill and crazy and that I accused him falsely. I KNOW that being here with the girls and having him around at times is not great-- but it is a whole lot better than handing them over to him without supervision for 50% of the time. I don't have an ideal option so I am trying to make the best of the current situation while I gather "proof", document and try and navigate unfamiliar territory....
Is there anything you can share with me that helped you with the court issue?
I know you're not asking me! Mind if I pipe up?
There is a really good book called "Splitting: Divorcing a Borderline or Narcissist" (or something like that!) by William Eddy. His High Conflict Institute site has lots of great stuff. (No, I'm not him nor do I work for him... haha) He gives a very good step by step process for building and then presenting your case. Eddy has another book called "Don't Alienate the Kids" that gives good advice on how to handle this too. Eddy gets it.
LOTS of people are faced with this choice when there is a risk of their kids having 50% of their non-school time unsupervised with someone who is a danger, but they are unable to prove it, or they risk of looking like an instigator or alienator because the weight of the evidence just isn't in place yet. I've seen courts make very bad, very wrong decisions a couple of times (rarely, but very tragically), so I understand your caution and the wisdom of your thinking.
William Eddy's stuff is very good, helpful.