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Old 04-25-2011, 06:56 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
GettingBy
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
More will be revealed WTBH... on your HPs schedule. I get and agree with what Babyblue is saying... there are people here who have BTDT, got the T-shirt. They have far more ESH, and maybe the delivery isn't great, the message is sound and the care/concern is very real.

It's a hard spot to be in, where you and I are. There is NO easy/quick answer. I struggle with what to do about my AH. I keep bumping up against the fact that if the drinking is an issue - why aren't I fighting for sole custody like a-hole attorney wants me to do? And why am I not keeping the kids away from him b/c of his anger?

I guess for me the answer is that I still think he is a good father to them. He doesn't drink around them, never has... but will he some day? Maybe, and if/when that happens I'll deal with it.

The bigger issue for me RIGHT now, is that I see him acting out his frustration on the kids. It doesn't happen all the time but it's WRONG, and yet, I'm paralyzed as to what to do. I protect them in the best way I know how right now (take them and separate them from him)... but what happens when I'm not around? Who protects them then?


I guess I have to agree with Suki's response... I should have been mad as hell the other night when AH screwed with my daughter and her blanket. But I wasn't. I did protect her and get her out of the situation... but I didn't say a word to AH afterwards. I'm numb. I'm in shellshock... and I've gotten to the point of not wanting to talk to him anymore b/c my words get twisted and manipulated.

But to not stand up for the kids?!?! WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!
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