It is tough and very very complicated. Many of us do understand for our own reasons (I grew up with a dad much like your husband so my life has been shaped by what my mom 'put up with'). It really does affect your kids and you never gave a sign that you didn't understand this.
Having lived it, I know it is so hard to find an easy solution. My dad wasn't an alcholic though so that adds on another layer which makes it even tougher to sort out.
Take some deeeep breaths and know that people on here DO get it
