Not to be contrarian or argumentative, but I respectfully disagree with Lexie. Communicating my boundaries to the person who regularly crosses them has never created a problem for me. For me, the problem has been where I allow myself to be a doormat, do not set healthy boundaries, and then REACT everytime the person crossed my boundaries. When I communicate my boundaries, I am not just setting rules. If he wants to interpret my boundaries as "rules" then that is HIS problem. Yes, my experience has been that alcoholics and addicts see other people's needs as limitations to their freedom and getting what they want, but I have learned not to engage in childish conversations with adults. I have the choice to walk away.
When I set and communicate my boundaries, and do not engage in conversations about the other person's (incorrect and self-centered) perceptions of what I am saying, and I do not engage in the drama and hysteria of Reacting (I detach), I begin to be able to see and understand the way the other person thinks. Which I believe is very important when dealing with a person with alcoholism and/or other addiction.