Regarding this:
But I told him: I don't like the way you act, change, behave (insert whatever behavior I dislike) when you drink. Its embarrassing, you're rude, and it makes me uncomfortable. Therefore, if we are going to do something and I anticipate you are going to act that way, I will not go. And, if we are already out somewhere or doing something and you act that way, I will leave. I followed up with, I am considering not going to sporting event (that we have tickets for) next week, because I'm afraid of how you'll act. The interesting thing then was that he said no, I won't drink at said event. And I said no you dont have to do that... and he said no, i would rather have you at the game.
I want to tell you THIS is why I ALWAYS trust my instincts. You KNEW you did not want to go, and you KNEW you were going to be miserable (how could you NOT be miserable KNOWING that: 1. He wants to drink? and 2. He might drink and then what? and 3. He probably resents me for not being able to drink at the game?).
In my opinion, you just didn't trust your instincts about this situation but the next time it came up, you did. YAY! Good for you. I had to learn to do so. It was difficult but I know it was related to my NEEDS. If I have plans to go out to dinner with someone, and they suggest a restaurant, and I don't want to go to that restaurant, I historically would just say, "OK," because it seemed that was what the other person wanted. But say it was Italian but in reality I wanted Chinese that night. I had to learn to say "No, I prefer Chinese" and then NOT GO if they wanted to do Italian. It seems like every day of my life I have to consciously decide for MYSELF and not allow what other people want, say, or do to affect my own behaviors and choices. Seems cumbersome, and yes, it is, but after you practice it enough it becomes easier.
Stand up for yourself, stand up for YOUR needs first, put your SELF first above all else, and trust your instincts. Even if it is something as small as what to eat for dinner.