Originally Posted by
Petiteprincess 
I'm not even a nice drunk, haven't been nice when drunk since i was about 18. I'm vile and violent. I say hurtful things that can't be taken back. It's disgusting.
^^^^THAT is where you should feel shame. Finding recovery for alcoholism is nothing to be ashamed of. It will be hard work and it is something you will have to work on for the rest of your life. If it is what you truly want, you will be willing to do whatever it takes. It can't be something you do because you met some guy who is perfect for you. There is no one perfect for an active alcoholic.