I am stuck on this one-- not that my needs aren't important-- I am stuck bc I don't want him alone with the girls. I don't trust him at all. It makes me anxious thinking about it. He has PROVEN time and time again that he can't control (or chooses not to) the urge to drink even when he's alone with them and KNOWS better.
So, I'm dreading the conversation of "either see them with me around or not at all". And since I have no legal right to say this right now it may turn into a fight.
Of course, he KNOWS he is breaking bail by drinking and I have proof of that and I could call and report him and that would solve the visitation alone problem pretty easily I'd guess. I'd hoped to not deal with this before the trial and to instead let the judge and lawyers deal with it and him on that date but maybe I ought to just make that call and start the ball rolling...
Ugh.
Can you arrange to drop the girls off with his mom and let him visit together at her place? Prearrange a set time for picking them up.
I am divorced (twice) and have had to deal with visitation schedules for many years. In my recent divorce, (from my alcoholic) I had the lawyer add a clause to the divorce decree that there is to be no drinking around our children.
It is up to me to enforce that, however. So far, it is not an issue.
Alcoholics are great at manipulating, blame-shifting and throwing guilt trips. However, it has been my experience that there is little follow-through. If you tell the A that visitation will happen on _____ date, for ____ hours (without your being present) they often dont follow through.
Alcoholics dont want to take time to be responsible and actually parent without the benefit of manipulating the other parent. Based on my experience.