Yes, I know that I came close to dying too. It's almost surreal to think about it, but like you, I used the experience and the fear I felt to propel myself into recovery. And, I lived the double life as well, at least as much as possible. Very few people knew I that I drank as I preferred to drink at home alone. Recovery was like lifting a veil off myself and breathing fresh air. I could be the person I wanted to be. Know that you can do this. I am not an AA person, but I do work actively on my recovery every day.