Originally Posted by
Eddiebuckle It sounds like you get this CN, but I'll say it anyway: the permission was never yours to give. If he isn't conviced that he's an alcoholic, the "not drinking" would eventually collapse or simply build resentment that would ultimately have some form of release. The "permission" and your decison to drink will probably accelerate his attempting to drink in a controlled fashion. Those chips were likely going to fall eventually.
I would say you did do the right thing. An external "thou shalt not drink" edict did not seem to be the genesis of his recovery. Perhaps this will.
Thank you for this!! I knew that "permission" was the wrong word to use and somebody would point it out. But yes, the realization for me was simply, he is still in denial, as much as he tells me "I'm working on it." Now, the key for me is to keep going to alanon and work the program and I will pray for him that maybe one day, he will "get it." And yes, I am still sorting out my codependency, what I am doing for me and what I am doing for him... but I know I did this one for me. Being honest with myself is the only thing keeping me going...