WTBH, have you taken legal advice about divorce, visitation and your move to another state? Do you know exactly where you stand? Because I am sensing that he has AND he is getting information from somewhere to ensure that any divorce and custody battle is going to be long and drawn out. You know from reading PD forums that it can be brutal but they also offer some great advice about your exact situation.
I called a family lawyer I was referred to by my employee assistance program. Still waiting for a call back. H told me today that he wants to do this amicably and "share" a lawyer. I'd like to trust him but don't feel that I can. H's mom works in a law office (she is a secretary but seems to think she belongs on the supreme court). I've heard her in the past give him advice about how to "protect" himself (against possible drunk driving charges, against possible disciplinary action for drinking AT WORK) so I am sure she's got all kinds of advice for him about how to deal with me right now... This is why I tried to put off doing this for as long as possible. This is going to be a long uphill battle I can just see it.
I understand why you want to report him for his probation violation. Do you have evidence that he is drinking?
Yes. I took photos of the places I found the recent hidden alcohol with a date stamp on the camera. And he admitted it in front of me, my mother, and his family.
This is all so difficult. Children have a right to a relationship with both of their parents and the law in most places recognizes that fact. It's very fuzzy on how that is achieved when there is all this nonsense in the mix, though. Maybe you have a local DV type resource that you could call to get some pointers?
That's a really good idea-- thanks!