TrudyB

Step 4 is a tool to give you a way to write down things that bug you and to help you find a NEW solution to getting what you want out of life and getting rid of what you don't. You know, like those thoughts that bother us about our past (which is the thing that I know always tries to "get" me to go back out there...sometimes it is so painful that I don't know what I'm gonna do....so I guess here I am! Helping out a friend!) Anyway, you would write down things like "I stole my husband's wallet and spent all of his money" ( I actually did this several times...oops!---on fourth step,...now it's done) If we write these things down and then share them with God and someone, then they are out in the light so to say and then they are no longer lingering in the dark corners of our mind..where as the "special" people that we are, our minds tend to want to live there so we have to keep "our house clean" so to say. Just go ahead and do it. It will be hurtful but Jesus will be right there with you. You will find that hurts from you childhood will come out but you will be able to deal with it in a sober adult way (well this is actually a step towards growing up). You will find that you will begin feeling alive after this step. You will have stepped out of the darkness of hell into the sunlight (or SONLIGHT, if you prefer. We've all done crappy things. That's part of the hell process of addiction. That's why we have come to get help. This works. You don't have to do it over and over though. Once done, you will have more organized thoughts and you will find that over time you will have meaning in your life. This won't stop you from thinking about getting looped from time to time. That's okay though,...you don't have to act on it. May God Bless You and Keep you. Tonight I will pray for all AA's doing their 4th step. I am glad that I talked to you today. You are beautiful just the way you are. I know, God told me so!!!!:ghug3:ghug3