Originally Posted by
concernednurse 
...I'm kicking myself because I'm thinking, OMG, I just gave my ABF permission to drink! But that's not really how I feel inside. I feel like I gave him permission to be who he wants to be.
...
So tell me wise SR folks... did I do the right thing?!?!?
It sounds like you get this CN, but I'll say it anyway: the permission was never yours to give. If he isn't conviced that he's an alcoholic, the "not drinking" would eventually collapse or simply build resentment that would ultimately have some form of release. The "permission" and your decison to drink will probably accelerate his attempting to drink in a controlled fashion. Those chips were likely going to fall eventually.
I would say you did do the right thing. An external "thou shalt not drink" edict did not seem to be the genesis of his recovery. Perhaps this will.