Originally Posted by
Impurrfect 
Most definitely BS. He's trying to find a way to justify why he's still drinking. Fact is, he's drinking because he wants to, because he doesn't WANT to do whatever it takes to get into recovery.
I quit smoking dope, but didn't get into recovery. Had several months clean, then would "dabble" for a day, but didn't consider it a relapse because, in all honesty, I still had the "stinking thinking". When I did fully relapse, it was bad enough that I was willing to whatever I needed to NEVER get there again. That was a little over 4 years ago.
He may "talk the talk" but he's, most definitely, not "walking the walk". If and when he chooses recovery, he won't need to say a word...his actions will speak loud and clear.
Keep doing what you're doing...I read your other thread, and YOU are absolutely making progress. Him? He's just telling you whatever he thinks will get you back into codie-land, and I'm really glad that it's not working any more.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Thanks so much Amy.... he hasn't had a serious, gone for days, type relapse-- he is doing the "dabbling" and if I were to bet I'd bet that he's thinkng (since this is what he tells me) "it's just a few beers-- it's not that big a deal" etc... He clearly thinks HE is the one in the driver's seat here. And even if he knows better he prefers to lie to himself and others rather than change. That's his prerogative. But I certainly don;t have to sit around and make his life and his choices my life.
He is definitely trying to suck me into codie, feel sorry for him land and boy was last night and this morning hard... I was tempted to call/text/see how he is... I feel guilty, etc... But I KNOW that those are residual unhealthy reactions to the way I've lived all my life but they don't have to be the way I keep living...
He wants to spend time together this weekend under the guise of "it's important for the girls that we are together for Easter". I KNOW I don't have the strength to stay out of codie land if I am around him and I am not sure what to do....