thank you all. I have so much guilt. Even believing he could drink socially, and having a glass of wine while he would have 2 or 3 beers. I am ready to break the cycle. Thank goodness for this site and the feedback from it. My hardest time will be when he comes around like his old self. That's when it is so easy to believe he's the person I know and love. It feels good to have a place to come and talk where people will listen.