He responded (and I am paraphrasing here) that he is trying to do the "right thing" and he understands his words mean nothing to me so he is trying to show me I am important and he has the beginnings of an understanding of the chaos his drinking caused me and my kids, through this action. Even though this action is the LAST THING HE WANTS TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW. It was one of those moments where I realized I was getting action but not recognizing it for what it was. I have been so focused on a certain kind of action that I want to see that I was missing the action he is able to give me right now.
I may be jaded given how well things are going in my own life (note the sarcasm) but does it seem a little odd to anyone but me that if your AH is helping you to show with actions that he's trying, that he'd say "even though this is the last thing I want to do". That sure sounds like a passive aggressive, baiting, snarky thing to say and it sounds a bit to me like he's helping you but developing a nice resentment around it too with a remark like that...
Am I mis reading it?
Before you jump all over yourself Tuffgirl for not seeing this as an action (plus, in my opinion, someone whose actions are sincere doesn't feel the need to point out how their actions are a way to "show" how serious they are) of progress, consider that he may be playing martyr and trying to play on your guilt....
That interaction sounded way too familiar to ones I've had lately (including yesterday but focussed around AH driving the girls to school and being willing and "happy" to do so then throwing in my face that he was doing this and getting no praise)....