Try to look at it this way. You know he has the intellect and ability to view his behavior as inappropriate at the least, cruel at best. What he is missing is the control to overcome the compulsion to drink. He is addicted. My boss once told me, "Alcohol has the power to bring even the strongest and smartest man to his knees"
Giving your AH the space and time to find his own way is a great gift to him. Hopefully he will be able to move forward to the life he obviously wants to lead but can't do it just yet.
You don't have to give up hope, or give up on him, by leaving the marriage/relationship/home. That is also your choice. That's the detaching with love concept. I still love my RAH very much. I don't like him right now - as he struggles through early recovery. I don't like his quacking, and I have lots of resentments and hurt feelings to deal with. But I still love him and pray he finds his way.
This sucks, I know. I am right there with you. It sucks in so many ways, but let me also just say that by living my own life, I am far happier and far less stressed than I was 4 months ago when I drove away with my kids and my dogs and our suitcases. It does get better, one day at a time.