blueskye,
Hello, and welcome to soberrecovery. Please visit this site often - when you are hurting, struggling for answers, need to be in contact with others who understand.
We understand.
When you start learning, understanding, and practicing the 12 Steps, you will see that the very first thing to try and do, is surrender what you believe your power is over a situation or person. It's hard, and I think we do it in stages.
The first three Steps are all about surrendering your will, and accepting that there is a higher wisdom, or power at play in our lives. We go kicking and screaming, but we learn to accept that truth. Cuz it really is true.
The sponsor knows what he's talking about. Your ABF needs to listen to his advice, and by association, so do you. Even if you don't understand the whys (which Laurie explained), Just Do It.
How are you doing today?