Old 04-20-2011, 05:19 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Babyblue
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
Oh I hear you loud and clear. I love that 'living dangerously' feeling after being raised with strict rules both at home and school. I rebelled and what better way to do that then have some wacky alcoholic in your life! The fun never stops, right?

It is especially hard when they are FUN and loving drunks. I sometimes think I liked my BF better drunk then the guilt eats at me. I almost feel ashamed to write it. It is the illogical nature of the disease. We who get sucked up in the crazy and them who are unable to stop until they've self destruct.

I met him in a 'party' environment. The first memory I have of him is meeting him and taking him to a party. He loved it. He loves that life. But I could stop, he couldn't. I even thought the other day how I could probably put up with him drinking and 'it would be ok'. Even though I know it would be draining and hard to watch someone do that to themselves on and ongoing basis.

Thanks for you honesty. Don't hide it ever. It has to come out for you to really work on healing and recovery.
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