Alone...if you're a fixer and a doer, like moi - the Queen of Saving the World, then give yourself the daily task of working on YOU. For me, when things were very rocky emotionally, I "prescribed" myself a daily regiment and worked on sticking to it.
1) Serenity prayer, as many times as needed.
2) Check myself over for HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) and made certain that I ate/slept well, connected with friends/family/SR regularly and JOURNALED a lot)
3) Daily exercise, whether it be a 20 minute walk, 10 sun salutations, running up some stairs...*anything* to get my body moving and some endorphins flowing.
You can make yourself a similar list based on personal preferences and attack it daily. I find that having something like this to attend to, especially when it directly benefits me (and indirectly benefits those around me), helps lift my spirits and gives me a sense of purpose.
Since you've had children, you can probably relate to this analogy: where you are now is very similar to being in the early stage of labor, dealing with some contractions and fatigue, but about to embark on a very exciting/scary journey. Like birth, this process involves pain which is necessary to move you forward. And like in labor, you can drug yourself silly and try to mask the pain, but in the end, you still have some measure of discomfort to go through before you're left holding a wonderful miracle.
Whenever things got really confusing and downright *painful* for me, I would come to SR, simply asking for some hugs, much like I would rely on my doula to help me focus on the end goal of my labor rather than the contractions I was feeling.
You can do this. We'll be here for you. Keep posting!