I agree with NoDay... this is YOUR path... you are right where you are suppose to be, right here, and right now. All things for a reason, though you may not know it now.
It hurts SOOO bad when I take off my cloak of denial. I step out into reality and it's rough, and can be overwhelming and depressing. I started Al-anon 6 years ago - a newylwed, with no children - I stepped out of denial briefly... but I quickly slipped back into the old habits/comfort zone. Now here I am, 6 years later and I've brought two children into this. I feel bad about that sometimes, but I don't dwell in it... because at least I have them... and they are motivating me to do what I couldn't do years ago. And that's completely step out of denial and live in reality.
Be patient and kind with yourself... you're here, and that in and of itself is success, right? You're making progress toward that life you want. One day at a time Alone!