...who said that when he was in the depths of his disease his priorities were as follows: alcohol, sex... and that was it. His wife and children weren't even on his list.
Having said that, before I was in Alanon I avoided actual conversations with my wife like the plague. This was unrelated to drinking on either of our parts. I was simply so selfish, and so fearful of conflict, that my MO was to talk only superficially or not at all. Sex, food, sleep, and work were several of the tools I used to avoid having actual conversations.
Even today, while I always speak meaningfully with my wife, I sometimes have to force myself to do it, and often feel very uncomfortable while we are doing it.
Take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
Soph 
Tuffgirl I can relate on many levels.
I still remember last year my XAH storming out of our house, flinging open the back gate, roaring off in his car in a fury. Why? Because he exploded when I mentioned that I felt like booty call sometimes when he came over (during our separation) - I would try to just have a nice, easy tv-watch on sofa...he would immediately begin pawing and avoiding any conversation. So when I decide to meekly bring up "my" feelings? Bang, boom, roar...gone...off. And now? we are divorced, my life is calm, no more explosions :-)
Feels good to be out of that tornado. Someone else can have it!! Hang in there!