Originally Posted by
Grnmtn1 ps how do you teach that? How do you teach someone to put their own needs first and not appear selfish?
There are some really great metaphors for this...
-Putting your oxygen mask on before your childs, becuase you cannot be there to help them if you cant breathe.
this applies to anyone in need, or in a compromised position...it is so true.
-If a person is drowning, and you are trying to save them, but they are not ready, or willing to be saved,they are kicking and fighting, taking you down with them... there comes a point where you have to let go, swim to shore and save yourself. Two drowned people at the bottom of the ocean is no good. Especially when you were willing to swim, willing to live.
And there is the very simple idea that you can impress on your child:
It is important and kind to be there for people in need. BUt it is also important to make boundaries. Boundaries keep us clear about where we begin and others end.
We can only help our loved ones and friends if we are clear and balanced, and thats why self care is so important.
-Here is one very important quote I refer to in my life, often, and I just posted it in a thread the other day. It is more about keeping yourself spiritually clear, and being who you should be no matter what, because it is Gods will that we be powerful...This is from Marianne Williamson
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Hope some of this helps, at least conceptually.