You know I throw out there "...ultimately he needs to live or die. For better or worse" like it's some easy thing and it sounds as if I'm so ready to pack it up and walk away. Yet I really know, I'm just not there, emotionally. I sound like such a mess and perhaps I am. Thank you for not "judging" too harshly. My husband has always described me as compassionate and I was always very proud of that. I like caring for others, but now I'm seeing it's at my own expense.