Hi Grnmtn, and Welcome to SR!
You will find a lot of folks here who understand exactly what you are enduring. The good news is, you do not have to endure it any longer. You can put strong boundaries in place for your own safety and sanity and that of your family. You deserve it......your children deserve it.
Originally Posted by
Grnmtn1 
I'm sorry that I said something to upset you, I surely didn't mean to. I do appreciate what I have and work hard to keep it. I simply wanted to help a friend in need and was looking for honest advice and I believe you gave it to me. Thank you.
The depth to which your codependence exists was displayed mostly through this post. Cyranoak came down on you with unnecessary force, IMHO.
Your reaction was to apologize to HIM for upsetting HIM.....can you see that you are taking responsibility for someone elses happiness? Someone you don't know and to whom you owe nothing?
I hope you will stick around and keep educating yourself on the disease of addiction and it's partner codependence.
Hugs and prayers to you and your family!
HG