The Ignore List...
Until I really started to effectively utilize the Ignore List, SR frequently overwhelmed me to the point where I would post something really insensitive and be "corrected" by the board, moderators, or both (and rightfully so). I highly recommend it to others here to use on people who just drive you crazy (and I may be one of them).
Normally I use it to block women who are being abused. God bless them, but I'm not equipped in any way to help them in any way-- I can only hurt. The fact they frequently are unaware of the abuse or think it's "normal," are often protecting the abuser, and frequently seem so helpless triggers me in a 1,000 ways (mom raised me alone, five sisters, daughter, etc.). I just have to avoid them. It's me, not them. Others here are very helpful in supporting them as they figure it out (or not).
I also use it to block people who are proving to be as clueless as I was for as long as I was. It's bad enough I actually lived through it because I was so mind-bogglingly co-dependent and controlling, but to see somebody else enduring YEARS of ******** from an alcoholic, then inviting it back into their lives (and that of their children) after some major alcoholic event can be too much for me to bear.
I feel guilty enough for what my daughter had to endure because of my wife and I's behavior-- watching others **** up their children just as bad is unbearable for me. Especially when they say it's because they don't want their children to lose their mother/father-- WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! They're already lost! Better no parent than an alcoholic parent. No parent at all cannot do nearly the damage an alcoholic parent does. It's impossible IMHO.
I also use it to block people who come here with all the answers, then argue with everybody who does not affirm what they came here already believing, or the ones who come here with conspiracy theories or to tell us why 12-Step programs don't work. One of you always asks them, "if you have all the answers why did you come here to post?" I love that.
Bottom line, even if you use it on me I'd encourage each and every one of you to consider the Ignore Functionality as a tool which can improve your SR experience. Just click on the name you want to block and choose "ignore."
If I've learned anything at all in Alanon it's that I don't need to be involved in every single conversation. In fact, the fewer the better for me. I'm sure many of you agree (not fishing here, no response necessary)!
Take care, take what you want, and leave the rest,
Cyranoak