If you want to help him save his life, the best thing you can do is help him find his rock bottom.
His rock bottom includes, it appears, you not being there for him.
I'm sorry...I understand...and I LOVE good food cooked by a talented chef...
but he's nobody if he's abusing, using, or dead.
Detach with love, and tell him that's what you are doing.
When he's truly sober, and working his program, he can call. You will know the difference, it will be amazing, not confusing as to whether he is using.
Save yourself.
You do realize i hope that most of the people on here have someone closer to them, if not a spouse, then a child, and it is devastating to them.
You have a happy marriage, and we all want any poison out of your life that might get in the way of that.