When I think of detachment, I think of it like this...
I think of holding something nasty - like a dirty diaper or a smelly rag or something - at arm's length. Yes, I have to deal with it but I don't have to hold it close.
What I struggle with now is applying to more than one situation. Detaching from XAH - no problem anymore. Learning to apply this to my 10 year old DD indifference to school and homework - really having to work on that. But I am still trying. I think sometimes just sticking with it can get you further than raw skill. So I'm not giving up!