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Old 04-18-2011, 04:58 AM
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wanttobehealthy
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
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pacificsunrise...
I'm going to send you a private message but I wanted to tell you that I really, really appreciate your post and I got chills reading it (bc I left the history of how much my H has done this out) bc I too had the H who tried to convince me (and worse, his family, mine, our friends) that he "feared" for our newborn when she was with me (and this was during a time that he was screaming at her- as a 2 week old- bc she wasn't "letting" him sleep at night). Oh I could go on and on.... But what jumped out most was the reference to Borderline Personality Disorder. I'd recommend you DO read about it- but in terms of your H being the one with it- and read about it not to diagnose him but to understand that YOU are not crazy and to "learn" I guess the tricks that you can expect. BPD and NPD individuals spend a lot of their time trying to tell others (and if they are high functioning they do this quite convincingly) that their spouse or significant other is the one with the problem. Been there. I'll send you a separate message too... Hang in there...

Originally Posted by pacificsunrise View Post
wanttobehealthy,

oh, how do i thank you for this post. i am sooo glad i came across it and read it. my AH does the exact same thing. he has pamphlets and had sent me a text w/ a webpage that i needed to read ("out of concern" for my well being). he worked in a mental health field for 13 yrs, so he has plenty of ammunition to go on.

this is not the first time this was happening (kids and i are living w/ my parents now for little over 1 month). after our firstborn came, he had everyone including my family and me convinced that i was going through postpartum depression and i was so stressed out and sleep deprived that i actually ended in a hospital and got depressed also. i have been seeing a psychiatrist for the past 3 yrs (up until our insurance got canceled due to his voluntary layoff).

according to him, i have borderline personality and major depression, none of which i was diagnosed with. this time he also tried to again tell my family about my mental state, but thankfully they saw through it this time.

oh and by the way, my AH is not an alcoholic. his DOC is cocaine (from what i know). i mean, he does occasionally drink and has been smoking pot for yrs, but it was cocaine that had made me leave.

i'm not sure if i should laugh or be afraid, or both, b/c it is really scary to me that he would try to pull something like this. it not only lets him take focus off of himself and his addiction, it is something that he is capable of bringing up in court when it comes to custody (not sure if you guys have any children together). most of the time i try not to think about things that he says and try to take care of my well being.

i just wanted to thank you for your post and let you know that you're not alone. hope things get better for you.

hugs and prayers.:to you
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