Go to an Al-Anon meeting! GO! You are going to need some support if you continue in this and if you choose not to. You will be in a group of strangers who have all been on this road. It's an amazing feeling to be surrounded by people who truly understand what you are going through and are not judgmental about it. I rarely talk about my personal situations outside of Al-Anon.
Rough character be damned, you are a human being and we all need support sometimes, and this is one heck of an emotional roller coaster ride and you are struggling or you wouldn't have posted here looking for advice. You love a person with a huge problem - a disease called alcoholism. We here are all the same - and the people in Al-Anon too - because of that one shared experience.