Originally Posted by
LaTeeDa 
FWIW, I don't think anyone is judging you for doing separation "wrong." Having said that, him being at the house every day, and now staying there is not really much separation. And, to me, the point of separating is to get away from the other person, their behaviors, their crazy-making, their influence over your life, long enough to have some peace and clarity. And it appears to me you aren't getting that. So, whether you consider yourself "technically" separated or not, you aren't getting the benefit of separation. This is not me judging you, just noticing how it doesn't really seem to be benefiting you. It's absolutely your call and totally up to you how you want to do this, but personally, I would like to see you get some peace and clarity from it. That's all.
I still have my RAH in my life. Not EVERYday, but I get calls, and I take them.
we have a son, and RAH comes to see him(less frequently) and I stay present, and its not at his house because he is not that stable, and I/he dont trust him with our son alone, yet.
Let me just say this,
Getting him out of the house as a day to day, no-matter-what-resident and room mate, and having him come by to see his son, even if it was everyday, is a MAJOR difference from him being there all the time, looming, throwing his blame around. At least I created some breathing room, some moments to think. It was impossible to step back with him here all the time.
I am fine with my level of seperation. It was a matter of self preservation and sanity.
There was GREAT, HUGE benefit from getting him out even though I could not kick him all the way to the curb across town. I got him out just enough.
I got him out of my everyday, every MOMENT existence, and got him into a more workable distance for me. And it was what I was able to do.
I now still have him in my life, and it is not all worked out, and neither am I, BUT WOW!!! Its a big deal, to start making those moves, start taking up that space and saying I need this. I DONT need this.
Give the girl some credit for making the moves she can...