WTBH,
I'm thinking you joined SR after this thread was started, so maybe you haven't had the opportunity to look at it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-chapters.html
It seems clear to me that what you are dealing with is so much more than alcoholism. I have serious doubts that all the AA meetings in the world would change your AH.
I think you are experiencing a respite from his abuse and control only because the balance of power has temporarily shifted.
1. He has DV charges hanging over his head.
2. You have a very real opportunity to leave.
He is "keeping a lid on it" as others have said because he has to. He sees that his control over you is threatened. Once the above two things are laid to rest, I fear for you. It's quite likely that he is seething inside over having to "play nice." Once he is no longer threatened, all that anger is going to erupt violently. I hope you and the girls are no where near him when that happens.
L